#5-22, Friday April 10, 1998

• Smokers' Commentary

It's business as usual for co-workers as they smoke, talk about the news of the week, and avoid work
• Toothpaste Commercial

Parody of a toothpaste commercial.  Children learn the importance of complimenting their teacher
• Manning and Klein

Preston Manning chews the fat with Alberta's Grade-A meathead, Ralph Klein
• @Discovery.ca

Discovery Channel's Jay Ingram gets a rat's eye view of laboratory animal testing
• Logger

A Nova Scotian logger learns first hand, for whom the log tolls
• Clinton Sex Addict

Bill Clinton and the Clinton-ettes are "Addicted To Love"
• British Submarine Sale
  Art Eggleton's second-hand submarine shopping spree
• Fabulous Sports Bitch
  The Fabulous Sports Bitch, radio's answer to Don Cherry

#5-20&21 (One Hour Special), Sunday April 5, 1998

• Charest Dinner
  Jean Charest shows symptoms of saviour behaviour
• Canada's Most Wanted
  Canada's Most Wanted: Ralph "Bubbles" Klein
• Leaders Comment
  NDP Leader, Alexa McDonough addresses the issue of Jean Charest's move to Quebec provincial politics
• Jock McBile
  Jock looks at the political climate in Ottawa - Charest is going, Chretien won't say if he's going, and Manning doesn't know if he's coming or going
• Asteroid
  Two donut shop employees discuss the consequences of an asteroid
• Barney Movie Review
  A look at the reaction to the new Barney the Dinosaur movie
• Chretien Comments
  Prime Minister Jean Chretien comments on Jean Charest's party switch
• Martha Stewart
  Martha Stewart demonstrates Daylight Savings Time and chats with Boris Yeltsin
• Canada's Most Wanted
  Canada's Most Wanted: Mike "The Knife" Harris
• Video Dating
  Clients of Bottom of the Barrel Dating Service look for love
• Bouchard Comments
  Lucien Bouchard comments on his new arch rival, Jean Charest
• Lovers' Edge
  Quebec separation talk pushes two lovers over the edge
• TSN - Bob McKenzie
  TSN's resident big head, Bob McKenzie interviews Ken Dryden
• Kiln-Dried Cats
  Heat your home with the new product - "Kiln-Dried Cats"
• Canada's Most Wanted
  Canada's Most Wanted: Lucien Bouchard
• Hana Interviews Conrad Black
  Hana Gartner finds starting a daily paper puts Conrad Black in the red
• Canada's Most Wanted
  Canada's Most Wanted: North West Territories
• Video Dating
  More clients from "Bottom of the Barrel Dating Service"
• Hobby Show
  The program "Interesting Hobbies" looks at a newly formed Duck Calling Club

#5-19, Friday March 27, 1998

• On the Slopes with Prince Charles and Sandie Rinaldo
  
In Whistler, B.C., there's a dope on the slope - Prince Charles is skiing
• The List
  
Kenneth Starr's new presidential snitchline
• Brenda the Bingo Lady

Headline hunting with Brenda the Bingo Lady
• Terrorist Cab Driver
  
Omar the fun-loving terrorist cab driver
• A Great Life
  
Dave Broadfoot guests as a street person who takes a look back at his great life
• Clinton News Conference

Bill Clinton's African sex safari
•  El Nino Weather Report

El Nino gets a job at the Weather Network
• The Inept Carpenter
  
The Inept Carpenter's tool tips

#5-18, Friday March 20, 1998

• Manning Flag Debate

Reformers flap their flags and gums
• English As A Second Language News

ESL News looks at Kathleen Willey, Volkswagen Beetles, and Gas BBQ Pintos
• Canada's Most Wanted

Canada's Most Wanted, on the lookout for Premier Glen "The Weasel" Clark
• Videopinion - Sterilization

Seniors comment on Alberta's ultimate cutback, sterilization
• CTV News - Charest

CTV News One rotates and Jean Charest spins
• Judge in Cafe

Coffee and comments about a judge's homophobic tongue
• Critic - 70th Academy Awards
  
Critic Gilbert Smyth Bite-Me's Academy Award picks - Oscar meets The Oscar Grouch
• Canada's Most Wanted
  
Canada's Most Wanted, on the lookout for Premier Roay "Pretty Boy" Romanow

#5-17, Friday March 13, 1998

• News From Away

Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole fish up three new senators, ice on the moon, and interns in Washington
• Charest Multiplicity

Jean Charest clones himself to serve both Canada and Quebec
• British Food Recall
  
The President of the British Manufacturers of Food-Like Products Association displays some of his country's culinary delights
• Chretien and Albright

U.S. Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright speaks five languages but still can't understand Jean Chretien
• The Raver

A panhandler raves about a number of Canadian disorders, ranging from Seasonal Affective Disorder to Restless Legs Syndrome
• Bouchard Responds

Attack of th fifty foot Bouchard
• Striking B.C. Doctor
  
A striking B.C. doctor has a patient up in arms and legs
• Manning Quickie

Preston becomes The Invisible Manning

#5-16, Friday March 6, 1998

• Videopinion - Dionnes

The surviving Dionne quintuplets have an identical response to the Ontario government
• Canadian Moment

Air Farce's headline donut shoppers feast on RRSP's, Alan Eagleson and a Manitoba blizzard
• Confused Philosopher

Life as seen through the eyes of the Confused Philosopher
• O Canada In Parliament

A Bloc Quebecois member makes it to number one on the O Canada hit list
• Videopinion - Alexei Yashin
  
A fan comments on NHL'er Alexei Yashin's million dollar cultural donation to the
National Arts Centre
• Brain of Canada

Mike from Canmore on a TV game show
• Prophet on the Mount

The Prophet on the Mount provides the divine view of hockey
• Videopinion - Charest

Jean Charest gives his reasons why he doesn't want to become the new provincial liberal leader in Quebec
• Road Rage Quiz
  
Road Rage, the consequences of driving while under the influence of anger
• Instant Millionaire

Play Publisher's White House Sweepstakes and become an instant millionaire

#5-15, Friday February 27, 1998

• Budget of '98
  
Paul Martin balances his budget the easy way - with our money
• Clinton Discusses Iraq

Bill Clinton confuses Monica Lewinsky with Saddam Hussein
• Jock McBile

Jock McBile flails Lucien Bouchard
• Olympic Recap
  
Brian Williams highlights Canada's Olympic achievements, six gold medals and no convictions
• The Flubbs

A visit with the world's largest couch potatoes
• Invisible Senator

The invisible absentee Senator
• Mutual Funds Ledge
  A mutual fund advisor goes out on the ledge for your business
• Brenda the Bingo Lady
  Brenda leaves her mark on the top stories of the week

#5-14, Friday January 30, 1998

• Bank Merger

Canada's big five banks merge to form one big mother bank
• Meet The Olympians

Biathlon competitors show why the Olympics are held only once every four years
• Smokers Commentary

Two co-workers turn a smoke break into a news break
• Aphazard Treats Clinton

With the help of Professor Aphazard, Bill Clinton demonstrates that when it comes to carnal knowledge, he's a Rhodes scholar
• Medical Mysteries

On Medical Mysteries an 86 year old grandmother becomes pregnant
• Open Mike

Mike from Canmore's TV talk show is one host short of a full load
• Larry King Still Alive
  
Larry King gets nosy with Barbra Streisand

#5-13, Friday January 23, 1998

• Clinton Denial

President Clinton comments on his most recent controversy, Zipper-gate
• Tree Skier
  
A skier gets intimate with a tree
• News From Away

News From Away anchors Jimmy & Seamus O'Toole go fishing for seniors in space, snowmobiles in Ontario and a willy in Washington
• Fabulous Sports Bitch

The sports phone babe, The Fabulous Sports Bitch, takes calls from her listeners
• Bouchard Emergency Address

Lucien Bouchard's State of Emergency Address proves he is still in the dark
• Jock McBile

Jock McBile lets fly at Alan Eagleson
• Iraqi Wheel of Fortune
  
Saddam Hussein hosts Iraqi Wheel of Fortune

#5-12, Friday January 16, 1998

• Rosie and Floyd Freeze-up
  
While coping with the ice storms, a Montreal couple has a power struggle of their own
• Cable TV Pitch

A cable representative gets worked up over the ne specialty channels
• The National - Chretien in Brazil
  
Hana Gartner talks with Jean Chretien about his trade mission to South America
• ESL News
  
English As A Second Language News anchors Heikki & Svetlana cover the news in their linguistically unique way
• Economics 101 - The Canadian Dollar

An economist celebrates the new year with the ceremonial dropping of the Canadian dollar
• Speed Vision

Speed Vision week in review with two really fast hosts
• Queen and Pollster

The Queen asks her pollster the question, "mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the most popular Royal of all?

#5-11, Friday January  9, 1998

• Sunday Report

Wendy Mesley, along with her Sunday Report panelists, discuss Alan Eagleson and discover the eagle has landed in jail
• P.J. Nosliw
  
P.J. Nosliw demonstrates his home-made cure for the millenium bug
• Deal With Helicopters

Art Eggleton phones Jean Chretien about his recent helicopter shopping spree
• Hilary Weston Appeal

Advice for the homeless from Ontario Lieutenant-Governor Hilary Weston
• Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist discovers some Christmas fruitcakes
• Rex Murphy
  
Rex Murphy examines how Diana's death has brought out the buck in Buckingham Palace
• Bird Flu

A bird flu doctor goes from quack to cluck

#5-NYE, Wednesday December 31, 1997

• Siskel & Ebert

Siskel & Ebert review the movies of 1997
• Ottawa Dick

An Ottawa private eye searches for a saviour in the Nation's capital and uncovers Jean Charest
• Kosher Krispies
  
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu munches on his favourite breakfast cereal, Kosher Krispies
• Mike's New Year's Eve Date

Mike from Canmore has a New Year's Eve date with Claire from Burnaby
• Nunziata Commercial
  
Special Guest John Nunziata goes for a car ride with Jean Chretien and Paul Martin
• Due South - Lost Episode
  
Special Guest Paul Gross appears in the Lost Episode of Due South
• Chicken Cannon

The Chicken Cannon fires at the year's most annoying people
• Jock McBile

Jock McBile's year-end rant
• Keith and Elton

Keith Richards and Elton John record a song together
• McDonough/Copps

Special Guest Alexa McDonough prepares a turkey with "The Hamilton Peasant", Sheila Copps
• Sunday Night Sex Show

Sex expert Sue Johanson interviews the author of the newest relationship book, "Women are from Venus, Men are from Moncton"
• Chretien/Wallin

The "real" Jean Chretien makes a surprise appearance and is interviewed by the "real" Pamela Wallin
• Dylan's Year-end Review

Bob Dylan mumbles through the sports highlights of the year
• Anne Murray and Queen
  
Anne Murray compares New Year's resolutions with the Queen

#5-B1, Friday December 12, 1997

• Politically Correct Christmas

The reading of a politically correct Christmas story
• Dylan Songbook
  
Bob Dylan's Christmas carol mumble-a-long
• Feminist Monopoly

Just in time for Christmas, the newest board game on the market, Feminist Monopoly
• Clinton Christmas
  
Bill and Hilary Clinton prove the White House is full of fruitcakes
• Mike's Seasonal Greeting

Mike from Canmore with his seasonal greetings
• Cell Phone Gift

The dangers of giving a cell phone as a Christmas gift
• Copps - Silent Night

Sheila Copps sings silent night
• 2000 Flushes

2000 Flushes guru, Al Eisen, gives the gift that keeps on flushing
• Cabbage Patch Doll

A customer must return their defective cabbage patch doll
• PBS Pledge Break

PBS regulars Mike and Goldie try to peddle their goods
• Videopinion - Shopper

An overstressed shopper expresses their opinion about the commercialization of Christmas

 #5-10, Friday December 5, 1997

• Posties' Bonfire

Striking postal employees have difficulties warming up to the government's back-to-work legislation
• On The Road Again

On The Road Again host Wayne Rostad visits a down-home nuclear plant
• Mike - Wine Tasting

Mike from Canmore finds that at a wine tasting meeting, you can cut the pretension with a knife
• Jock McBile

Jock McBile looks at the top news stories of the week; as well he has two words for a lazy senator- "Get Stuffed"
• Specialty Channels

A look at the TV listings for the new specialty cable channels
• Nancy Wilson - Global Warming

Politics host, Nancy Wilson looks into the topic of global warming - "Is it real, or is our planet just having hot flashes?"
• Fido
  
Fido, a cell phone commercial that's for the dogs
• Videopinion

A couple of angry seniors give China two options, stop persecuting political dissidents, or eliminate MSG from egg rolls
• Feng Shui master

A Feng Shui master master gets better acquainted with her space

#5-09, Friday November 28, 1997

• Chretien APEC Meeting

Jean Chretien passes the pepper at the APEC banquet
• Hana - Quebec Apostle

Hana Gartner interviews a member of Quebec's newest religious sect, "The Apostles of Brotherly Rectitude"
• Stan's Eye Clinic

Stan's discount laser eye surgery
• Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart brings peace to the Middle East with chicken fat, coleslaw and roadkill
• Manning Pensions

Preston Manning discovers that aging Canadians don't have a pot to pension in
• Promo

A promo for this year's hottest new TV show, "Beirutwatch"
• Japanese Economic Hara-Kiri

A Japanese bank official takes the ultimate plunge
• Retail Merchant Message

A seasonal message from the Retail Merchants Association
• Canadian Moment

The donut shop regulars leave no cruller unturned as they trash the postal strike and bank profits

#5-08, Friday November 21, 1997

• Postal Worker Explains

As mail grinds to a halt, it's business as usual at the post office
• Saddam and Bobbie

Saddam Hussein unveils Iraq's cheesy new weapon, The Scud Doodle
• Smokers Commentary
  
A couple of smokers discuss the news stories of the week during their hourly nicotine break
• Man's World

Grey Cup champs, Doug Flutie, Pinball  Clemons and Paul Masotti make a guest appearance on Man's World
• The Next Prime Minister
  
Ottawa's new TV game show - Who Will Be The Next Prime Minister
• Re-Programmed Robot

Re-programming a robot, Canadian style
• Chicken Cannon

#5-07, Friday November 14, 1997

• ESL News
  
Linguistically challenged news anchors Heikkie & Svetlana report on Saddam Hussein and the Grey Cup
• Gun Control

A spokesperson for the Alberta Gun Owner's Association fires off a few rounds of criticism at the new gun registration laws
• Unsolved Mysteries

The new mayor of Toronto is the subject of an upcoming episode of Unsolved Mysteries
• Fun With Euthanasia

Every bit as fun as it sounds
• Bill Gates Announcement

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates buys North America
• Prophet on the Mount
  
The prophet on the mount contemplates the stories of the week
• Chretien in Hanoi

Jean Chretien visits Vietnam and stars in "Apocalypse, Eh"

#5-06, Friday November 7, 1997

• News From Away
  
Jimmy and Seamus's news headlines include the Ontario teacher's strike, Prince Charles's Spice Girl adventure, and female referees in the NBA
• Feminist Monopoly
  
The newest board game on the market, "Feminist Monopoly"
• Confused Philosopher
  
A few thoughts from the Confused Philosopher
• Bouchard's China Visit
  
Lucien Bouchard visits China
• Sue - Sex Survey

On "Sex With Sue", a cure for impotence raises more than just a few eyebrows
• Nearly Prime Minister

Special guest Dave Broadfoot explains how he could have been Canada's Prime Minister
• Cop Show
  
Television's first Politically Correct Police Show
• Stock Market Explained

A stock broker keeps up with the Dow Joneses
• Pig Out

Overindulgence at the food bank
• Fifth Estate Promo - Street People

Air Farce takes a look at the latest group to follow in the footsteps of squeegee people

#5-05, Friday October 31, 1997

• Canadian Moment

Air Farce's healine hunting donut shoppers feast on Hallowe'en, the stock market crash, and the smoking ban in B.C.
• Mike - Frankenstein
  
Mike from Canmore meets Dr. Frankenstein
• Sister Bonaventure - Howard Stern

Sister Bonaventure, the cursing nun has a few choice words for Howard Stern
• Teacher's Strike Press Conference
  
It's detention for the media after a striking Ontario teacher's press conference
• Stress Tabs

Filming a commercial for a new stress reduction pill leaves its host all stressed out
• Larry King and El Nino
  
Larry King interviews this year's weather-making windbag, El Nino
• Pamela Wallin
  
Pamela Wallin interviews Ted Turner about his billion dollar U.N. donation
• Videopinion - Oilers

Videopinion about the sale of the Edmonton Oilers to Houston
• X-Files Season Opener

Agents Scully and Mulder preview their new series, The X-Rated Files

#5-04, Friday October 24, 1997

• Chretien and Yeltsin
  
Jean Chretien and Boris Yeltsin go toe to toe on land mines
• 2000 Flushes
  
Al Eisen hustles 2000 green flushes
• Voice Mail Avenger

The Voice Mail Avenger - no phone should be without one
• Brenda the Bingo Lady
  
Brenda the Bingo Lady shares her thoughts on the stories making the news, from the new TV channels, to the teachers strike
• Tim Horton's Ladies
  
Two Tim Horton's employees discuss the passing of John Denver
• Aphazard - Time Change
  
Professor Aphazard explains Daylight Savings and proves he lives in his own time zone
• Klein Returns from Asia

Alberta premier Ralph Klein visits Asia and has the slides to prove it
• Chicken Cannon

The Chicken Cannon fires its season debut
• Taffi

Children's entertainer Taffi, raves about Ellen DeGeneres' biological clock

#5-03, Friday October 17, 1997

• ESL News
  
Heikki and Svetlana report the news in sort-of-English
• Dryden Interview

Toronto Maple Leaf GM Ken Dryden has a word or two, or three, or four about his team
• Gilbert-Smythe Bite-Me
  
Gilbert Smythe Bite-Me sinks his fangs into Canada's new cable channels
• Clinton Tapes

White House coffee-gate is caught on tape as Bill Clinton unveils his zippercam
• Jock McBile

Jock McBile rants about the headline-makers and shakers
• Hooters Restaurant
  
Gender balanced restaurant, Hooters, hires a hunk
• Alexa-CPP

Alexa McDonough's Canada Pension Plan tirade
• Hospital Promo

A promo for a new hospital show that targets those who are clinically dumb

#5-02, Friday October 10, 1997

• Mulroney Cashes In

While sitting in his personal vault, a gloating Brian Mulroney counts his cash settlement from the government
• Canadian Passport Terrorists
  
Two Israeli hit men deal with a Canadian Customs officer
• News From Away

Jimmy and Seamus O'Toole harpoon the headlines from the past week, including Premier Frank McKenna's resignation, Canada Post and the Rolling Stones
• Not "Distinct Society"

Jean Chretien searches for the right words to replace the phrase "Distinct Society"
• Videopinion - Jasper Mine

A couple of environmentalists comment on the new proposed pit mine for Jasper National Park
• Co-worker's Hospital Visit
  
A man pays a visit to his hospitalized co-worker
• Manning in Stornoway

Preston Manning moves into Stornaway
• National Update

The Peter Mansbridge news channel, "all Peter, all the time"
• Bobbie and Yeltsin

CNN's deadeye news anchor Bobbie Battista interviews Boris Yeltsin about running in the upcoming Russian election
• Billie 2 Willies - Indian Summer

Billy 2 Willies lays claim to the term, "Indian Summer"

#5-01, Friday October 3, 1997

• Bouchard Update
  
Lucien Bouchard tries to prove he's not crazy
• The Royals

The Royal Family deals with a great tragedy, their unpopularity
• New Rating Symbols

Canada's new television program rating system
• Canadian Moment

The donut shop regulars comment on the top headlines of the week
• Elton John - New Songs
  
Elton John boosts his career with his new CD: "Tributes To Dead Guys"
• Speech From The Throne

Mike from Canmore is a contestant on the game show "All-Canada News Quiz"